Thursday, July 18, 2013

Birth Story

Seeing as it has been 6 weeks since our little bug arrived I figured I should get the birth story documented, so here is the story of our newest additions arrival to the world!

From my last post, I told that we had found out at my 37 week appointment that I was 4cm dilated and 70% effaced. My doctor was starting to be concerned by the amount of progress I was making not actually being in labor. She said that if I made it to my next appointment and had progressed further that she wanted to send me in to be induced. The prospect of an induction was unsettling for me because of the risks it adds with me trying for a VBAC delivery. I hoped and prayed all that week that our little Gavin would decide he was ready and come on his own but that just wasn't his plan. I continued to have contractions regularly but nothing that was consistent enough to be "labor".

I ended up making it to my 38 week appointment the next week, so on Tuesday, June 4th Mike and I headed to the doctors office at 9AM. As we were driving to the appointment I was full of all sorts of uncertainty and anxiety. I knew as I was headed in that I was going to be told one of two things and I couldn't decide what it was that I wanted to hear. I had spent weeks not sleeping well and having contractions and I really didn't know if I could be told that I had to keep doing that, but at the same time I was scared that I would have progressed further and would have to be induced. I was going through an inner battle that was making me stress more and more. I finally just said a prayer that whatever would be the best and safest for me and Gavin would be what I was told.

We got  to my appointment and my doctor came in to talk with us really quickly. She asked me how I was feeling and if I had still been having contractions through the last week. I told her I was and she had me lay down to be checked. Her face let me know right away that I was still progressing. I was now 5 and a half cm and 80% effaced. As soon as she told me where I was I knew what she was going to say next and I had immediate peace even before she said it. I would be being induced and that was going to be okay and everything was going to work out. My doctors next words were "I'm not comfortable with you walking around wide open, so we need to schedule you for an induction." I said we were comfortable with whatever she felt was best for me and baby and she went out to get on the phone with the hospital and see when I could come in. Once she was gone I looked at Mike and both of us were just excited knowing that our little guy was going to be here very soon. After a few minutes Dr came back to let us know that they were scheduled up for the day but I was on the schedule for the following morning. She gave me strict instructions to take it easy for the day, stay at home, and if I needed to leave to be sure that I was never more than 10 minutes from the hospital. We headed home and Mike went to work to prep for being gone the next couple days.

That day ended up feeling like one of the longest days of my pregnancy. It is a very strange feeling knowing your baby is going to come the next day and you just have to sit and wait. I had spent the last few weeks waiting, but this was a different kind of waiting. Waiting with an actual end in sight and not just a "some time soon" makes the waiting much harder. We finally made it to bed time and I put the kids down. I then took a shower and got ready for bed. I was supposed to call the hospital at 6AM the following morning to see if they were able to have me come in. Mike and I tried to sleep, but between frequent bathroom trips, being completely uncomfortable, and just pure anticipation, I was only able to sleep for about 30 minutes at a time all night long.

I ended up getting out of bed at 5:30 so I could get ready and pull some of the last minutes stuff together for my hospital bag. I called at 6:00 and they told me that they were currently full and I needed to call back at 9:00 to see if they had room for me at that point. I was kinda annoyed that I had keep waiting, but I just took it easy through the morning. Alena woke up earlier than normal and when I asked her why she was up she said because she was ready to go see Baby Gavin. She was just so excited and I had to tell her that she still needed to wait because I still needed to go and get Gavin out of my tummy. I spent the rest of the morning snuggling with my 2 oldest kiddos and I spent some time on the phone with my mom. When I called back at 9:00 they said I could come on in. We got the last of our things in the bag, put it in the car, gave some last snuggles to the kids and we were on our way to the hospital.

38 weeks pregnant
Last shot as a family of 4
It was really weird to be headed to the hospital knowing I was going in to have my baby but I wasn't in labor. I didn't have the adrenaline surging through me to keep me from being totally nervous. Nothing was distracting me, and I was going nuts. It was a very strange feeling and I almost couldn't wrap my head around what was really happening. I was anxious and excited and kinda scared all at the same time. I'm sure I was feeling all these things when I was headed to have my other kids, but I wasn't focused on that, I was focused on breathing and counting and everything else you think about when you are in labor. Just very different from past experiences.

We got to the hospital at about 9:30 and they took me into a Labor and Delivery Room. Had me change into a gown and hooked me up to monitors to see if I was having contractions while they filled out the history and took care of all my admit paperwork. Just after they turned the monitors on I started having a contraction. The nurse that was helping me says, "Um, you are having a contraction, have you been having them for long?" I just laughed and told her that yes, I've been having them every 10 minutes or so for the last 2 weeks. That's why I was there because they weren't getting closer together but they were making me progress. She finished all the paperwork and questions at about 10:45 and then went to page my Dr so she could come and break my water. The contractions continued just like they had been and the nurse was impressed that I was handling them as well as I was since they were very strong contractions. We just waited for the Dr to come so that things could get moving along.

My Dr was there just after 11:00 (nice that her office is right by the hospital) and she went over what her plan was for me. She was going to break my water and she said that she hoped that was all I needed to have the contractions pick up. If things weren't progressing after a couple hours she would start a slow pitocin drip to help me along. She said she hoped we wouldn't have to use pitocin as did I, but things need to progress at a certain rate so it didn't get dangerous for the baby. She waited for me to finish having a contraction and then broke my water at 11:10. She said things should pick up in the next couple hours and went back to the office. Five minutes later I had another contraction that I really felt since my water was broken now. The next one came 4 minutes after that, and then just 3 minutes after than and that is where they stayed. Three minutes apart and lasting 45-60 seconds each. I just needed my water broken to kick start my body I guess.

Waiting for the doctor
Well, I wanted to walk around to encourage progression and help myself cope with the contractions so the nurse came and disconnected the monitors and Mike and I headed out to walk the halls at 11:30. The contractions were very consistent and the the nurse could tell they were getting more intense each time I passed the nurses desk. After I had been walking for an hour the nurse came over and said that they needed to monitor me again for a few minutes just to be sure Gavin was still doing ok and they wanted to check to see if I had made any progress. I said ok and also told her that I was feeling pressure like I wanted to push as well and we headed back to the room.

We got back to the room and the nurse told me to lay back on the bed. Now this is the one part of my "labor journey" that I wish I had handled differently. The moment I sat down I started having a contraction and the position I was in was not conducive to pain management. The pushing pressure was so much worse, I couldn't breathe deeply enough, and I immediately tensed up which made it even worse. Also, the nurse kept talking to me and trying to tell me what to do and that added to my frustration. I know she is trained to help women in labor, but I just kept thinking she doesn't know my body and she doesn't know what I need. Knowing that they were going to want me to lay in bed with the monitors for a while and not being able to use my previous coping mechanisms had me getting more and more tense so I caved and asked for the epidural which I had hoped I would be able to go without. With Bryson's delivery I also had an epidural because I was an emotional wreck but for other reasons, but the epidural was so strong that I could honestly not feel anything during the labor and especially the delivery. I didn't want that this time because I wanted to be able to take cues from my body and progress through the labor as smoothly as possible. Well, I asked for it any way but luckily my anesthesiologist was AMAZING and I told him I wanted it dosed very low and that was exactly what he did. I was still able to move my legs around and adjust myself as needed and I was still feeling the majority of my contractions, it was just enough to take the edge off the pain and remove the strong pressure sensation with each contraction. I think had I not had to lay down I could have continued through and done the delivery epidural free, but c'est la vie.

Feeling good and settling in to wait
So moving forward, my epidural was placed at 12:50 and I was feeling good by about 1:10. Mike's sister Haley got to the hospital just after the epidural was in place and we settled in to wait for the next little while. About this time I started getting the shakes really bad and for about 15 minutes I couldn't breathe well during contractions because I was shaking so bad. Imagine a dog with its head out the window and that is what I felt like when I was trying to breathe. Not pretty! Luckily the epidural helped that calm down as well. They checked my progress once I wasn't feeling as much and I was almost a 7 and 90% effaced. Things were going well and we were looking forward to our little guy's arrival. We visited and laughed and kept Mike distracted with computer games and talking. Mike is the epitome of a nervous daddy when I'm in labor. It is very sweet but somewhat distracting so Haley and I did our best to keep his mind busy.

About an hour later (2:15PM), I told Mike and Haley that I was starting to feel the urge to push and more of the pain was coming back as the epidural was wearing off. I really didn't want to push for another dose of the medication because as I said before I wanted to feel as much as possible during my delivery. We paged for the nurse to come in and she came at about 2:20 and said that I was complete except for a little lip that still needed to thin up top. I wish she had just gone a head and paged the doctor then, but she wouldn't since I wasn't COMPLETELY complete. She said she would come back in a little bit but we ended up having to page her again 30 minutes later because I was really REALLY ready to have that baby! She came in and sure enough now I was REALLY complete and she went to page the doctor. My epidural was really gone now and I was having to really focus to get through each contraction.

Sweet supportive Mike watching the monitor through my contraction
 
He helped me keep focused on my breathing. If you can see the blue line on the monitor that is my contractions. You can see they are very consistent.

While we waited for the doctor to arrive I asked Mike to turn on some music because it helps to relax me. We had a "Baby Mix" that I put together for Bryson's labor that I had him turn on and it was really nice to listen to it. There is one song that I listened to just before the doctor came that I particularly love. I had Mike skip forward to it and really turn it loud just to get me prepped for delivery. The song is called "Love Changes Everything". It is by Andrew Lloyd Webber from a musical called "Aspects of Love". Music is something very dear to me and it calms, excites, and moves me in a way that nothing else can. Well the song was all but blasting in my hospital room, and I was singing to it through my contractions. Haley started videoing me without me knowing but I am really glad she did now. I haven't been able to get my video from my camera in the right format to post the actual video, but here is a music video of the song. My favorite part starts about 2 minutes and 20 seconds in until the end. You don't have to watch the video but listen to the song because it is fabulous!



The last lines of the song are so powerful and they touched me at this point in time in a way that they never had before. The song ends, "Yes, Love, Love changes Everyone. Live or Perish in its flame. Love will never, never let you be the same. Love will never, never let you be the same." As I knew I was just a short time from seeing my new little baby, I sang these lines during a contraction and it moved me to tears. Loving each of my babies has changed me and I will never be the person I was before they entered my life. I am so blessed to have them. Anyway, this was a very tender part of the day for me that is humorous in some ways, but very special none the less.

So, the doctor was paged just after 2:45 but we still had to wait for her to get to the hospital. The nurse started prepping the room and the doctor got there at about 3:10. In this picture you can see that she is still getting gloved up and if you notice the clock it says it is 3:15.

3:15, gowning up
Well, she got gowned, sat down and got Mike and Haley situated to help hold my knees while I delivered. She said, "On your next contraction go ahead and give a push and we'll see where you are." Little did she know I was SO SO ready to deliver little Gavin. My contraction started, I took a breath and pushed and there was his head faster than you would believe. It caught her off guard and she had to tell me to stop pushing so she could get the cord off of his neck. She clamped, snipped, and told me one more quick push for his shoulders and he was out. That is right folks, ONE CONTRACTION and he was here! Born 3 minutes after the picture above was taken at 3:18PM on Wednesday, June 5, 2013.
I was so happy to hold him, and I was so glad they gave him right to me instead of taking him to the little warmer to do his APGAR ratings and everything. Seconds after being born he was one my chest.
I was so happy to see him and so glad everything went so smoothly
A very proud and happy daddy
So, there it is, Gavin Matthew was here! I held him for 5 minutes and then they took him to weigh him and measure him. 6 pounds 14 ounces and 20 inches long. A perfect, perfect baby boy! I got on the phone with my mom while they were doing all of this and then baby was right back in my arms.

Still on the phone with my mom, and taking in my sweet little boy!
Sweet baby face
Daddy gets to hold the little guy
Just taking him in
So glad to be together!
They moved me to my recovery room a bit later and we had the kids come down to the hospital to meet their brother.
Alena was so excited to hold him
She is such a wonderful big sister
Bryson was not as interested in Gavin as he was in just exploring the hospital room
I'm just so glad this little angel made it safely and he is so perfect!

So there are the main happenings of the day. Gavin is doing great as are the rest of us and I will try to post some about the life since he has been here, but I wanted to get this down before it got too much later. Sorry it is such a long post, but I hope you enjoy!